Introducing The MIED, From Government Motors

Posted on November 27, 2011 by


The Mobile Improvised Explosive Device (MIED) places GM at the forefront of cutting-edge technology. While only about 5300 of their Chevy Volt line have been sold nationwide, the government has been vigorously promoting deployment through a combination of propaganda and financial incentives.

To date, the average MIED driver takes home $175,000 per year, and receives a $7500 tax credit for the “green” purchase. The government says that it’s “green”, so it must be true.

Yeah, well…about that: after these spiffy little MIEDs are fully charged, they may be able to travel as far as 70 miles (depending on conditions, of course) before needing a re-charge. So, while we’re waiting for the batteries to fill up, it’s worth-while to ponder a couple of questions. Take your time; you have plenty of it while waiting for the batteries to drink up.

What makes the MIED so “green”? Is it because it runs on electricity? But over half of electricity produced in the USA is derived from burning coal, and a significant percentage is produced by burning what government erroneously refers to as “other fossil fuels” – like natural gas.

And how about the batteries? Just how “green” are they? Most hybrid and electric vehicles require around a dozen batteries, and most of them contain nickel. Most of that comes from mines in Sudbury, Ontario. Runoff from one such mine is shown: Nothing says “green and sustainable” better.

On the other hand, your basic MIED deploys Li-ion batteries, so less nickel is involved. The downside, which the feds are currently looking into, is that they may ignite if you happen to wreck your ride – sometimes a couple of weeks later. So there you are: your ride’s in the shop. The batteries ignite, and the place burns down. Lawyers will have a lot of fun, sorting through that mess.