At Last, An Explanation

Posted on December 31, 2011 by

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According to an impeccable source who studied environmental law at Northwestern School of Law of Lewis & Clark College in Portland, Oregonand holds five degrees, a guy named Barack Obama, who was then using the name “Barry Soetoro,” visited Mars during the years 1981-1983. No, really….

See, here’s the deal: the CIA tapped ten teenagers and trained them to be chrononauts, and ol’ Barry was one of the lucky ten! This was a super-secret program run by the CIA and DARPA that employed Tesla-based teleportation to transport the chrononauts to and from Mars. It’s nice to know that he was up to something productive during his lengthy absences.

You’d think the feds would’ve used Area 51 for this stuff, but that place was probably full up with alien corpses (desert air helps preserve ’em, and all), so instead the whole Tesla portal operation was run inconspicuously in Pasadena, CA, according to the “whistle-blowers”.

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