Will Ferrell Wants To Eat Your Hair, For Obama

Posted on November 4, 2012 by

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Will Ferrell will grovel on a billiards table, wearing a lounge suit made from the finest threads, as long as you agree to vote for Barack Obama.

Seriously, he’ll make you a meal of roast flamingo and seared perch. He’ll bungee jump from the Golden Gate Bridge wearing nothing but an ill-fitting trash bag. He’ll eat… hair. Apparently. As long as you get out and vote. And as long as that vote is for Barack Obama. If you vote for somebody else? Forget it. Will Ferrell will ignore you. No flamingos, no bungee jumping, no trash bags, and yeesh, your hair probably tastes like Mitt Romney’s pomade. You’re dead to Will Ferrell.

This is the new ad campaign coming out of the Obama campaign. What, you thought Will Ferrell decided to do this on his own? Of course somebody paid him. First it was Lena Dunham telling you that voting is like losing your virginity, which is… yeah, not really. If she wanted to make the ad more true to life, she would say “I pulled back the curtain, spent twenty minutes staring at the machine, and I’m still not even sure I voted right!” Nevermind how wholly inappropriate and crass it is to have an ad like that approved by the President of the United States. Now it’s Will Ferrell, basically begging you to vote for Obama. Is that desperation I smell, or just a used diaper full of Indian food? 60% of the time, this ad campaign works, every time.

 

But there’s two major things that we can pull out of this humorous-but-desperate advertisement.

First, the O campaign has shifted their strategy. Of course, it’s because of a fundraising deadline. For the past week or two, they’d been sending out emails asking – no, pleading – for donations. “We just found out that Mitt Romney and the Republicans have $45 million more than us in the final stretch” they claim. Apparently the accountants staggered who they told, because every single one of the varied email senders had “just found out” that Romney was financially ahead by leaps and bounds. There needs to be some better communication in this campaign.

Most telling, though, was that in each email, “Mitt Romney and the Republicans” were still $45 million dollars ahead. That’s… pretty bad news for the Obama campaign, and I don’t know if they purposefully meant to tip their hand like that. It shows everyone that this huge cry for donations  went pretty much unanswered. If you’re looking to close a $45 million dollar gap in two weeks, and two weeks later you still have a $45 million dollar gap, something didn’t work out right.

So now they’ve brought in Mr. Ferrell, asking people to vote. At first I thought it might be some kind of “we just want you to vote” ad from a non-affiliated organization. Something like the completely and totally nonpartisan ACORN that just wanted people to vote… ten times… for Obama… and get their dead grandma to vote twice too. But then at the very end, he practically shouts “VOTE OBAMA” at the camera. My question is answered.

But pull back and look at this, past the fact that it’s funny. Will Ferrell, hired by the Obama Campaign, is begging you to vote for Obama. He’ll do anything. Remove the middleman, and Obama is begging for your vote. When’s the last time Mitt Romney has begged for… anything? This advertisement inadvertently exposed the truth about the Obama campaign (as is the case most things involving the Obama Campaign – they’re so blissfully lacking in self-awareness). They are desperate. They are scared. And they’re begging.

It’s just couched in a funnyman and some rich mahogany.

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Posted in: National, Opinion, Satire